You deserve to be with a loving partner who loves, respects, values and treats you the way you want to be treated. Do you truly believe this statement when you hear it? Do you really think it is possible for you to attract this kind of partner? The truth is, it is possible, but if you keep settling for less than what you deserve, you will never really know what is possible for you.
Seems like an obvious fact, yet so many of us fall into this trap over and over again without even realizing how much we are actually limiting ourselves. Due to a very common and quite untrue belief that all the good ones are taken, we settle for someone who is unkind and treats us with disrespect just because we find him or her extremely attractive. Or we go for someone with low self-esteem because we believe that a confident person would never give us a time of day. Most commonly, we pick someone we see as a “fixer-upper” — not quite a great catch yet, but if we work hard enough, we believe we can change him or shape him into becoming our ideal guy.
How about looking at it from a different perspective, imagine if you can have it all! What if you can attract all the qualities you admire, plus everything you find attractive all in one person! And imagine that this person is also interested in being with you and wants to commit to you! How does that feel? Is this too much to ask for? Is it unrealistic? Not at all! In fact, it is quite possible if only you believe in it. We are so afraid of being unreasonable or have high standards that we actually make our standards too low. And then, when we end up meeting someone who fits our “lowered standards” we don’t quite feel the spark and then end up blaming ourselves for having high expectations and lowering them even more.
As much as it may feel great to fantasize about being with your ideal partner, it may actually feel uncomfortable to experience it for real at first. But this is the kind of discomfort I would like to challenge you to go through. Don’t question yourself if it is what you deserve, you are worth it. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody and you do not have to earn your way to love and to be loved. You already are.
This is very true! I have settled in my past and just recently met a guy thought things were great could see myself with him for a long time. He became emotionally/mentally abusive and would make me cry. I used to stay with guys like this because I didn’t think I could find anything better but I stood my ground and got out of the relationship. I deserve better and I knew it. It was still hard but I feel stronger for it now.
I think this is great! Good for you for standing your ground, Corinne! I know this can be hard sometimes to get out of those abusive relationships out of fear that you may not find anyone better, but you will. Before you can have what you want, you must first let go of what you don’t want.